II: Scrawl

I: Scrawl

Found scrawlings from the inside of my grey and dying mind.

YOU CAN LICK THE FRUIT
AS LONG AS IT DOESN’T KILL YOU – YOU CAN LICK THE FRUIT
THE BITTER TANG WON’T KILL YOU – THAT BITTER TANG WON’T KILL YOU
I MADE SURE OF IT. YOU ARE NOT ALONE HERE. LET THE YEARS DIE IN HERE. LET THE YEARS DIE IN HERE. I MADE SURE THE FRUIT WON’T KILL YOU. I MADE SURE OF IT.
I CAN’T LET YOU THROW MY LIFE AWAY.

WHO AM I, GUESS MY NAME. WE’LL PLAY A GAME, GUESS MY NAME. A THOUSAND HUMMING TREES WON’T TELL YOU, GUESS. LIKE A SONGBIRD STUTTERING MY VOICE HURLS ITSELF UPON YOU. I WILL NEVER TELL. YOU MUST GUESS, YOU MUST WIN.

YOU CAN GAZE UPON THE ABANDONED SNOW, SO LIKE A THIN SHEET OF PAPER YOU COULD PRESS A FINGER TO IT AND STAIN IT ENTIRELY. LIKE AN ICE FIELD FILLED WITH INK. YOU CAN PRESS AND HOLD YOUR FINGER THERE. IGNORE THE PAIN LIKE I DID.

GUESS MY NAME.

A SIMPLE PUZZLE ON THE SIDE OF A GLACIER AND YOU FEEL COLD NOW. WITHIN YOUR SKIN, UNDER THE SURFACE, ICE CRYSTALS LIKE SALT FORMS AND YOU CLAW AT THEM, DO YOU FEEL THEIR SPIKES? DO YOU FEEL THE WARMTH? DO YOU FEEL THE GROWTH OF THEM, AND THEY WILL PIERCE YOU, BUT READ THE GLACIER SIDE. THE SORBET-COLOURED SLUSH AND THE ICE LIKE THE SKY. PLEASE READ MY GLACIER AND DISCOVER MY NAME.

A NIHILIST’S FOOTSTEPS. YOU WILL SEE HIM SOON. WITH A SIMPLE SIGH TO MELT THE EARTH AND A CONSTANT BUZZING IN HIS BRAIN YOU WILL MEET HIM SOON. A HIGH-HANDED GLANCE AT ALL AS HE PASSES THE GLACIER ON HIS WAY DOWN. HE DOESN’T READ MY NAME. OFF THE SIDE.

I TRIED TO TELL HIM IT. I TRIED. I WOULD NEVER SEE THE LIGHT WITHOUT HIS EYES. WITHOUT HIM, AND I WATCHED HIM GO. SO READ MY SIDES. MY PUZZLE IS WAITING FOR AN ANSWER, BUT NOT FROM HIM, FROM YOU. AND READ MY FACE. DISCOVER THE WRITINGS, DISCOVER THE REALITY OF PAIN.

YOU FORGOT MY NAME.

III: Scrawl

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