fall

Move

SHOULD I
allow whatever I must give myself to fall in the slowest possible way
to the tiled floor beneath the infinite landscape of the universe
and should I
try to beat the falling objects to the floor only to watch them
shatter completely into nothing?

Because,
And I may have held them five seconds ago,
They were worth something then
but they are worth nothing now. So should I
let them go with unflinching and uncaring eyes
as I, too, lean backwards over the dark blue infinite?

Just like
The curtains above my head when I stand on the far wall
with the floor on my left shoulder,
I fall the wrong way every way completely.
I want to beat what I drop to the tiled floor, and yet I
only feel myself falling upwards.

But here
in this uncertainty that the people with the minds call the universe,
But what I will always continue to know as simply, Nothing,
I doubt it matters which direction things fall in. Because
all of us, whether we have our feet on this blue earth spinning faster than water every second,
or whether we fall the wrong way in this vast Nothing,
None of us move anyway.

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VII: Scrawl

VI: Scrawl

 

Found scrawling from inside my grey and dying mind.

 

LET US FALL THROUGH WONDERLAND. LET IT LIE SO FLAT AND STILL IT BECOMES LESS THAN A RIPPLE TO TEAR THROUGH US AND RUPTURE OUR SENSE. BECAUSE WONDERLAND IS NOTHING.

THE SIX-FOOT CATERPILLAR AND KNEE-HIGH HUMAN, A WONDEROUS DISCOVERY IF WE’D FOUND IT FIRST. BUT WE ARE SECOND, THIRD, FORTH, FIFTH, NINETY-EIGHTH. NOTHING NEW IS TO BE FOUND HERE.

WONDERLAND IS NOTHING NEW, SO CLOSE THOSE WIDE EYES. AND SUICIDE IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER AS YOUR BODY AGES AND CRAWLS CLOSER TO INEVITABLE DEATH AND PAIN. YOU COULD LIVE FOREVER WITHOUT A BODY TO HOLD YOU BACK.

OPEN YOUR EYES.
ARE YOU BLIND?
THERE IS NOTHING WONDEROUS ANYMORE. NOTHING NEW.
NEOLOGISMS HAVE BEEN WRITTEN, FICTION HAS BEEN TOLD, INVENTIONS EXIST ELSEWHERE.
SIT DOWN WHERE YOU STAND. AND WAIT.
OR SPEED UP THE PROCESS.
WALK TO THE LARGEST CITY ON THE LARGEST CONTINENT AND WALK UP THE LARGEST STAIRS OF THE LARGEST BUILDING AND LOOK DOWN FROM THE HIGHEST POINT AND JUMP FROM THE HIGHEST POINT AND
FALL
FALL

FALL

FALL

 

FALL

 

 

FALL

 

 

AND LAND, AWARE THAT YOU ARE NOT BLIND, THAT YOUR EYES ARE OPEN. YOU KNOW THE TRUTH OF LIFE AND DEATH ITSELF, THAT NOTHING IS NEW AND THAT THERE IS NO POINT. COLLAPSE INWARDS LIKE YOUR LUNGS, PUNCTURE YOUR TONGUE WITH YOUR TEETH AND GRIN THROUGH THE PAIN BECAUSE YOU KNOW.
ONLY NOW YOU DIE, ONLY NOW YOU CAN OPEN YOUR EYES WIDE.

 

VIII: Scrawl