Horror

II: Human Carriage

I: Human Carriage

 

Emptiness leaves, replaced by a vague feeling of comfort. For, see, I have inserted things into space. And that leaves me happy.
Six of them, well, five and a child in their mother’s arms – I am even worse at judging a baby’s sex – fill up the space and I climb into the carriage behind the last man to enter.
Here we are.
All full in here. I am happy with this.
So I lock the doors as I do every time.
Can’t have that kid leaping off to his life. That would be backwards.
Oh no!
Can’t have that.
So I lock them tight.
-If you’re comfortable? I say. I speak in short sentences. Like I do every time. Simple. Short. Disconnected. Easy.
-If you’re comfortable? repeat I, just to ask again. But their eyes are still the same. So I give a hollow smile with full cheeks. -Alright. Sit loose. I will leave you now. A few minutes. To tell the Driver to go.
So I leave, just like that. I tell the Driver to go.
Or, I find my way to the Driver. It’s not an easy feat sometimes. He tends to leave empty coke bottles lying around. He seems fond of the stuff.
Only in glass bottles though.
Never plastic ones.
I hear he collects the caps. The metal caps you could cut yourself on. Maybe
his scars on his knuckles are there for a reason?
Because obsession is painful. Right?

Still.
I steal my way through the forest of upwards snouts.
Bottles, three here, five over there, all huddled like penguins.
Or… sardines, I suppose.
Hah!
What.
-Evening, I say to our Driver.
-Awright? he says to me. Not drinking a coke. Surprisingly. Maybe he doesn’t need the sugar boost just yet.
-Alright? I say back. I didn’t mean to.
He has a smile, just a little few seconds of a smile to ease me. He’s been around me long enough to
know my foibles. Know what I can be like sometimes. Echoing things. Screaming things. Repeating things. Copying things.
-Awright? he says again, but I keep mute this time.
Don’t want to make a fool
of myself.
Do I?
-We off? he says.
I tell him, -Yes. Everyone’s on. Settled. Sat. Comfortable.
-Everyone’s fine.
-Yeh. ‘Kay. Go sit. I’m moving.
-Alright, I look around as he swings to face the forwards direction. I don’t know how he Drives the train.
I suppose he presses forward.
I stare on the floor, at all the empty bottles, I ask if I can take one.
-Go mad.
Does he mean it literally?
I do not ask, merely pluck one off the floor. By the neck.
I don’t want to touch what has the Driver’s spit on it.
-I’ll sit.
-Yeh.
-Okay.
I leave him. No matter how awkward the conversation sounds-
or ‘convo’ as he’d say-
I never really come away rolling my eyes at myself.

So I find my way to my own seat with the bottle.
I want to wipe the opening. Quite
badly.
I don’t want to know where it’s been.
Really.
It might be dusty. But.
There isn’t much to wipe the snout with here.
So I have to use my glove. Very disgusting, especially when I imagine it all.
Oh.
No.

I rest the bottle between my knees and look over my shoulder. I cannot see the people.
There is a wall between us.
But somehow, looking their way is a comfort. For some reason.
I look their way. Are they alright?
My people?
My six?
My five and a child? They’re alright?
They’re awright?
I look back to the bottle. Just resting there as the train begins to shift a little. Like a living thing. It shrugs this way… and that way… before picking up speed it never seems to possess.
To me, to the me who has ridden the train the amount of times as unbent metal bottle tops in the world, it shouldn’t be surprising – should it – the speed the train has. But it is, every time it is.
Just starts off so slow… so slow indeed.
But then.
Two seconds.
Sixty- seventy- eighty!
Fairly skipping along the sleepers.
At least, I think there are sleepers.
On this track?
I actually cannot remember.
But.
Not important.
We are skipping though. And I look at my bottle for a few minutes.
Look at its emptiness.
I should do something about that.

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I: Human Carriage

Always several unreal things cross my mind when I encounter empty things.
Be them… muraled bottles… or cans…
Theatres… cars… terminals…
Train carriages? Train cars?
We tend to call this type of thing a carriage. Though it is, technically, a car. Not a carriage.
But everyone calls them carriages.
Just makes it… easier. Carriages carry. Except
they don’t when they’re empty.
Do they?

That is what I mean. Unreal things – like the unrealness of the whispers of people who have sat there and who will – cross my mind when I encounter empty things. I have great desires to fill the space.
But that’s another thing, I can fill this space. In this carriage, I can fill it.
Make the collateral whispers into screams as physicalities take form.
And I can serve them their lukewarm waters, point them in the direction of the on-board shoddy bathroom.
While they wait and stew in the Human Carriage.
Because! -you see, you see!
I am the Human Carriage Maestro.
They bow by my hand, holding the unprestigious door open for them.
I guide them with a flourish of gloved fingers to their direction of seat.
And I tell them to have a pleasant trip.

I get the most gruesome duty of all though, too, which is picking up after the people. And that’s less mundane than it sounds, especially once you consider the emptiness. Because the carriage can be full but the emptiness can be more vivid than ever at that point too.
The contrast, see. So difficult to see through. It’s like a fog.
But.
But! Come and view my Human Carriage. Look at the colours if you’d like, the red
handles on the doors. I re-painted them with my own hand the other week.
And the paint’s already flaking.
Dreadful shame.
Did I just waste
my
time?

Well. That answer looks to be a stout but firm yes from the audience. The crowd. The gameshow contestant. None of which exist anyway. But. Either way.
Leave the handles here, the red will flake off on my gloves if I should touch them anymore.
God.
I’ll touch them up when I stop being depressed about how I wasted my time.
But with better paint.
Certainly, definitely, better paint.
I sigh as I walk.

Rounding the edge of the platform – or rather, going through the rusted chainlink fence to the corner and leaping off with a little shriek of enjoyment on my part – I begin to notice the breathy huddle I have come to be familiar with.
They’re mostly the same this season. About five to eight potential passengers, always huddled together like sardines. Or is it penguins that huddle?
Both perhaps. One in the ocean. The other, terra firma.
Before I make my prescence known – they’re slightly raised above where I stand, they’re on the first, second, third and fourth steps up to the platform real, whilst I am beside it near all the nettles and mulberries and goarses – I have a quick look at them all.
Mother and child, that’s two of the six I have this eve.
Then we have two men, wearing similar shirts.
But they’re standing apart from each other. Either they are strangers – probably – or they are…
Enemies?
Possibly.
Both in sort of pinkish-red plaid. I’m not sure I like it.
Who are the others, a young man – not in plaid – with sandy hair. And a girl.
Who seems to have a suspicious moustache-like thing. Dark hair.
She looks very odd. I cannot take my eyes off her lip. Her upper lip.
Very strange.
But nevertheless! These people are my people for now. All mine.
And soon they’ll be my carriage’s people.
And I’ll be their Maestro.
I do love being the Maestro.
Despite the cleaning up after them.

I know already these people have been briefed for the journey. Not too long, at least, they won’t know it is. For me, the journey seems to lengthen each time.
Or sometimes it shortens… maybe sometimes I get used to it and sometimes I am tired.
But for them it lasts no longer than half an hour to forty-five minutes. Usually.
Well. It depends how quickly they all go. Or how quickly I get around them all.
After all.
I am their Maestro.

I make myself known to the stupendous six, adding myself into their midst to bring the total headcount to seven.
If the child can be counted as a head. It’s very small.
Six months? Less? More? I’ve never been good at estimating age with babies.
Or did I call it a child?
It matters not.
I sidle up to them either way, pulling at my wrists. Where my gloves come down.
The white palms so pure.
But slightly stained with palm-sweat of the months.
Very much in my size.

I draw their gazes with a slight –ahem and by throwing my arms wide.
Six pairs of eyes on me.
I am their Maestro.
-Good evening.
-I am your Maestro for the next few hours.
I offer them a bow, very sleek and elegant. As I return their transfixed gazes slowly, I see how they all possess the same watery-looking sleep in the corners of their eyes. All breathing slowly, all calm, all with hair slightly out of place.
I smile, -Welcome to the Human Carriage. We are set to board. So. Do follow me, say I, before turning with yet more intense flourishes. I hop-skip-jump up the stairs, landing on my toes, all too happy to lead yet another group into my carriages.
It’ll be nice to take the journey again, I always think that.
Even if it does become lonely after a little while.
After about half an hour to forty-five minutes.

 

II: Human Carriage

 

V: Suicide Room

IV: Suicide Room

 

Disclaimer:

This file is not a pre-approved Suicide Room Case. However, it has become available to the public. It was discovered, and has been encrypted in such a way that hacking attempts have only managed to reveal unwilling words that do not work within any context. It is clearly a well-hidden file.

It has been released to the public under these conditions:
1) The main goal of releasing this file to the public is to recruit a larger number of people who could potentially figure out what it inside the document.
2) The contents of the document may not be used publicly until pre-approved by the Suicide Room.
3) Any readable and understandable contents of this document, if discovered, are to be reported immediately.
4) Any contents found unreported will be met with stern punishment.
5) Any names or assigned numbers within the document will be thoroughly investigated upon report and discovery.

To attempt to read the document, please select it below:

ENCRYPTED_DOCUMENT

Your co-operation on this endeavour is appreciated.

 

 

Hint: Pay special attention to the words used in III: Suicide Room

IV: Suicide Room

III: Suicide Room

 

A series of memorable cases from the Suicide Room. All information included in these documents is shown only for the purpose of exposing the weakness of the human mind. Together, with the right technology and purpose, we can overcome these weaknesses and create barriers to stop the impulses taking over. Together, we can create superhumans, immune to persuasion, obedience and oppression. But we can only do this with subjects willing to submit themselves to the Suicide Room. Through failure we will succeed. Through death we will live. Through the weakness of others we will strengthen ourselves.

 

–Case File 0103, Subject 0103–
–Pressuriser: 0071, Male, Experienced
–Status: Completed – Failure – Moderately soon suicide through a combination of drugs and self-amputation. Death caused by blood loss and shock.
–Case eligible for public viewing. All information contained within this document has been recorded for the purposes of scientific curiosity and for the sake of furthering the human race. All information was logged from physiological, audio and visual aids, plus the memory of Pressuriser 0071.

–Open Case–

During the initial meeting and setup of Subject 0103’s visit to the Suicide Room, several important discussions were recorded. Subject 0103, a young female, expressed the urge, which she has reportedly felt since she was a child, to become an amputee, or to amputate one or more of her limbs. She made the distinction between acrotomophilia and apotemnophilia – acrotomophilia is the sexual interest in amputees, and apotemnophilia is the interest in becoming an amputee, which may be linked to a deep spiritual or sexual desire. Subject 0103 made it clear she has never been sexually attracted to amputees, but that she has, since a young age, wanted to have at least one of her limbs amputated. She expressed a desire to remove, or have removed, her left arm from the elbow down.

Because of this desire, which, from society’s point of view, is often seen as eccentric, odd or perverse, this has brought on a strong depression for Subject 0103, as she feels cast out from the norms of society, due to the reactions she fears she will receive upon revealing her spiritual and human desire.

Because of the environment, she expressed she felt both comforted by the absence of judgemental stares, but also intimidated by the process of interviewing for a eligibility into the Suicide Room. The latter point has been raised both by potential subjects and indeed one Pressuriser, though the absence of people and use of communication directed towards the potential subjects is too precious to risk changing.

Once Subject 0103 became more comfortable speaking, knowing her information would remain anonymous and only used for scientific exploration and purpose, she opened up further.

Because of her depression, she had tried twice previously to remove her left arm, as a desperate attempt to experience happiness. These failed and foiled attempts have only made her desire stronger to achieve her goal. However, she is rarely left alone, always having a family member whom she resents near to her, so she has not tried for a third time. She also spoke of how she gets periods where her urges are so strong she considers running away, and urges where she is so low she contemplates suicide because she knows she is not happy.

Subject 0103 did seem reluctant when she arrived for the first time, as cameras captured her behaviour. She was reluctant to move, always glancing around for an escape should she change her mind. This sort of behaviour is very interesting, and always looked for when considering who should be a Subject in the Suicide Room.

Subject 0103 was chosen as she displayed several traits. She showed and expressed desire to end her own life, though her drifting and reluctant behaviour throughout the initial stages of setup provided a crucial contrast that is rare to find in those who come. Often, it is those who are definitely going to commit suicide who want to take part in the Suicide Room. Perhaps this is a way of abstaining from a guilty feeling; although they are leaving their family behind without warning, they are instead contributing to science.

Subject 0103 was not at this stage yet, so was selected relatively quickly to take part in the Suicide Room. She was assigned Pressuriser 0071. Usually, male pressurisers are not assigned to female subjects, as the male pressurisers display aggression more obviously than the female pressurisers. However, all female pressurisers were inconvenienced at the time, so Pressuriser 0071 was selected. Unfortunately, he presents a stark contrast to the 17-year-old Subject 0103, and this was taken into account when the data was analysed. However, after statistical tests and comparisons with other Suicide Room cases, Case 0103 was cleared as useful, and it was ruled Pressuriser 0071 would meet with her.

Precautions were taken immediately after clearing the case, and it was marked as a very possible potential failure. This girl fit all the criteria for wanting to end her life already, and the addition of the atmosphere and freedom from judgement, the law, or treatment offered would certainly do the opposite of deterring her from that conclusion. Pressuriser 0071 theorised it would not be hard to get Subject 0103 to take her own life. In his eager way, he only half-jokingly mentioned a bet when talking about the case. However, the bet was turned down, as it was believed she would almost-certainly take her own life.

Subject 0103 arrived three hours ahead of her scheduled time, which meant she had to sit and wait. Usually, subjects are merely kept an eye on, but Pressuriser 0223 happened to pass her an hour and forty-five minutes into Subject 0103’s waiting time. Pressuriser 0223 stopped to perceive the subject, but did not talk to her. However, after she had moved on past, and returned to her routine, she did note down her thoughts on what Subject 0103 looked like. This is second nature to her at this stage, as one of her strength is reading a person and remembering what she felt they meant as a whole. Although her notes were never officially turned in to be recorded, they were found and, as they are beneficial, will be recorded for scientific and memory purposes.

Pressuriser 0223’s Notes (written simply on a single sheet of notepaper found in the laboratory)

– Girl didn’t seem to have the look of finality around her. Simply by sitting where she was, she should have known she was almost certainly going to die, given the stigma around the SR [Suicide Room].
– Girl’s eyes were clear, no sign of tears or of crying.
– Posture suggests she’s been there a while.
– Compared to my memory of other subjects, she is alert. Not gazing into the middle distance or trying to block out the world.

Pressuriser 0223’s notes, while short and hardly relevant, as she has not received any information on Subject 0103, do raise interesting points about the subject. Perhaps it is beneficial that Pressuriser 0223 passed the subject and noticed what she was doing before she entered the Suicide Room, as subjects’ behaviour usually goes unrecorded outside, as most subjects present the same actions.

This information was passed onto Pressuriser 0071 who came to a potential conclusion that the subject was so calm and prepared because “she will possibly be able to fulfil her wish of removing her left arm”. As such, he took the hour before he was due to enter the Suicide Room to mentally prepare himself for the sights of bodily mutilation.

 

–Transcript–

This transcript captures the events leading up to, but prior to, Subject 0103’s decision. Throughout she was aware of the consequences of agreeing to be a part of the Suicide Room research, and, although withdrawal was impossible at this point, her permission and consent were given multiple times through the debriefing sessions.

While in the room, Subject 0103 showed the same calm demeanour she displayed outside.

[…]
0103 – Will I get to do it?

0071 – By ‘it’ I will assume you are talking about multiple things. If you refer to your apotemnophilic tendencies, then you are certainly not exempt from that. If you refer to suicide, you are certainly not exempt from that either.

0103 – You know what I meant?

0071 – It is my job to know.
[At this point, Pressuriser 0071 was informed via earpiece to heighten intimidation techniques. The Suicide Room is not a counselling suite.]

0071 – How did you develop apotemnophilia? Have you had it as long as your can remember, or was your perversion triggered somehow?

[Subject 0103 appears surprised by Pressuriser 0071’s questions]
0103 – I can’t rem–

0071 – I would assume, given that you’ve been shunned over this by people you should love, that it’s from birth. I will also theorise that your younger self, unable to control what she said as most children are, made it startlingly obvious at some point, either by trying to carry out your deep-set wish or by becoming obsessed with it, or with perhaps other amputees you knew.

0103 – I can’t remember. But…

0071 – You can’t be left alone anymore.

[Subject 0103 does not respond for a while, and simply looks at the pressuriser]

0103 – I… my mum didn’t want me to try again. She didn’t let me–

0071 – “didn’t”? She “didn’t” let you?

0103 – Yeah. No. No… doesn’t. She doesn’t let me… be on my own.

0071 – Don’t treat it like a mistake. A Freudian slip, maybe, but certainly no mistake. What makes you say didn’t, what makes you speak about your own mother in the past tense, a women we know to still be alive and connected to you?

0103 – She’s not–

[Pressuriser 0071 lowers his tone. On the cameras, it is clear his head tilts to the side as his voice softens.]
0071
– You know your connection with her is broken, don’t you? Just like you want it.

0103 – Yes, but… She’s… I hate her anyway so… I know. I’m free like this. Well, sort of. I mean, I’m not going to see her again, and it doesn’t matter, I’ll go.

0071 – You’re here. You’ve already gone.

0103 – That’s…

0071 – That’s not what you mean, is it? You might have thought about going, about leaving, at some point. You could have run away. But you never tried, because so many people were looking and watching you at all times. But yet, you managed to get here on your own, but you never managed to run away. Because, by “go” you don’t mean, flee to somewhere geographically different, do you?

[At this point, Pressuriser 0071 is urged via earpieace to have her make the final recorded consent. This is usually received before further verbal interaction within the room, but Subject 0103 began talking instantly.]

0103 – Obviously.

[Part approved to be cut by three separate parties. Contained Pressuriser 0071 becoming increasingly stronger with his points and Subject 0103 gradually becoming less and less positive.]

0071 – This is what you meant by “didn’t”, clearly. You arrived here on your own, twice. And this time, you haven’t the foresight to go further after your visit today.

[Subject 0103 doesn’t respond. She is looking at her hands, though she has not yet shown the common symptoms of anxiety. As Pressuriser 0223 said, she is calm, accepting.]

0071 – You are aware of the aims of the Suicide Room and have consented willingly. Your final decision can be made at any time, and any wishes directly regarding it will be followed through. You have stated your preferred method of suicide is by ingesting quantities of paracetamol over a period of time. This has been already provided and is in this room with us. You will find it below the table, available for your use whenever, and if ever, you decide to use it. However, if a different method is favoured, it can be arranged. This information has all been provided to us willingly by you and is all correct.

[Subject 0103 looks at him surprised. She soon returns to a look of dull calmness however]

0103 – Yes… can I… can I do it now? Can I just… I just want to…

0071  – Is this the opportunity or an urge that’s led you to have just made your final decision?

0103 – Both, possibly. I can’t wait anymore, you’re right. Can I just… do it, finally.

0071 – Amputation or suicide?

0103 – Both, possibly.

0071 – Beneath the table, you will find the tools with which you can carry this out. As requested, there is numbing agent, rope, painkillers and a straight-bladed motorised saw which has been sterilised for your personal use. All of these materials you requested, and every effort has been made to match your descriptions with the products. You may proceed with your final decision however you deem suitable. Should you survive the process–

0103 – I don’t think I want to. Survive, I mean. I’ve been ready for this for ever.

0071 – Should you survive the amputation process you can walk out, or continue with your final decision in another way. However, I will still be present, even if you do survive. Everything you have experienced with me will still continue.

0103 – Okay. Okay.
[Subject 0103 visibly takes a breath, before reaching beneath the table]

-Transcript Ends-

 

The following scenes are best recorded from Pressuriser 0071’s memory. As he recalls, the subject did not move from her position at the table. She first took the painkillers before tying the rope around her upper left arm. Pressuriser 0071 notes how fluidly she moved while performing these actions. He theorises she’s either practised or is well-read on the subject of self-amputation.

She next applied the numbing agent, spreading it around her elbow, just above and below it. While she waited for the agent to work, she traced a line around the bottom of her upper arm, mentally working out where she should cut.

She began to stare into the middle distance. According to Pressuriser 0223’s notes, often the very broken do that either while waiting for their time in the Suicide Room to begin, or while they wait for the applied method of death to work for them. She says that, when this happens, subjects do one of two things. Either they recall all their life, think of who they will be leaving, but often have no regrets leaving them. Or, they experience nothingness, only a calmness, such as the feeling when drowning. Pressuriser 0071 could not tell which category she fell into, though suspected it was the first one.

Finally, she picked up the saw. Pressuriser 0071 admits that this is the point he was dreading. However, as he is a highly trained and highly experienced Pressuriser, he remained deadpanned both in expression and emotion.

Subject 0103 expressed her discomfort very soon after she started up the saw. As the teeth got through into her flesh, pulling out fragments of muscle, she realised the numbing agent wouldn’t take away the deepest pain. She let the handle go slightly, and the saw fell, slicing her skin further. She gripped her arm and screamed.

Pressuriser 0071, all the while, kept his stern gaze on her, his hands clasped on the table, cuffs of his shirt being dyed a dark red. She met his eyes after a few minutes. Searching for direction or comfort, perhaps. However, she got neither, but she pushed herself on to continue, desire and futility getting the better of her. She placed her arm back on the table and carried on, the hand holding the saw shaking.

She became more serious when the got to the bone, knowing her arm was too ruined to be saved. Pressuriser 0071 says he saw her tears stop and she pressed on, still making vocal her pain but refusing to cry. Because of the adrenaline, she had the strength to push through the bone. However, because she was removing her left arm through sheer force, she was losing blood fast. It began pooling on the floor, rippling with every slam of her feet on the floor to try and redirect her senses. Her limp left hand was stretched out. A single drop of blood rolled down from the tip of her pinky and ran into the crease of her hand.

It wasn’t long before her right hand let the saw fall to the floor, and her left arm turned over freely, separated from her body. She sat back, expressing nothing, no pain, possibly because adrenaline had taken effect. At this point, her heart rate was slowing down. Pressuriser 0071, who still had not changed his position or expression, felt his heart racing. The shock was getting to him.

Before his eyes, Subject 0103 raised her messy left arm. In hers, he saw a glimmer, and the corners of her mouth turned upwards. But that only lasted a second before her head fell back, her arm collapsed to her side again and her eyes closed. Blood pumped from the stump of her arm onto the floor.

At this point, she had not died. She had merely lost consciousness due to lack of blood and from shock. However, by the time Pressuriser 0071 had readied himself, stood up and moved to check her pulse, she was gone. As usual, he stayed in the room alone with her corpse for ten minutes, just to be sure nothing else was wrong.

In the end, Subject 0103 did carry out the wish she had held for the longest time. However, this wish, this desire, something she could never deny cost her dearly, and caused her to feel isolated to the point of depression. She became weak, and succumbed to the basic human desperate response within the Suicide Room.

 

–End results: Subject 0103 failed. The results gained from her visit to the Suicide Room are certainly useful. Pressuriser 0071 reports that Subject 0103 really shook him. This has raised several questions regarding him within the process itself. In the end, Subject 0103 benefited to furthering the understanding of desire and suicide.

III: Suicide Room

II: Suicide Room

 

A series of memorable cases from the Suicide Room. All information included in these documents is shown only for the purpose of exposing the weakness of the human mind. Together, with the right technology and purpose, we can overcome these weaknesses and create barriers to stop the impulses taking over. Together, we can create superhumans, immune to persuasion, obedience and oppression. But we can only do this with subjects willing to submit themselves to the Suicide Room. Through failure we will succeed. Through death we will live. Through the weakness of others we will strengthen ourselves.

–Case File R3,0223, Review–
-Review Type:
Pressuriser
-Pressuriser:
0223
-Review eligible for public viewing.  All information contained within this document has been recorded for the purposes of employment and redistribution. All information is accurate and there are no falsified statements. Everything said by the employee in this record is what was said at the time of note.
–ATTENTION: Case R3, 0223 became corrupted. No backup review was written, as information can still be understood and interpreted from the data recovered in this file.

-Open Review-

Environment: This review was recorded inside the Suicide Room. This is territory every pressuriser is familiar with, and this is no exception with Pressuriser 0223. She was instructed to sit at the table, but in the seat usually reserved for subjects. All cameras and lighting in the room focus on the seat, and microphones are stationed regularly within the walls to pick up on all sounds. From here, her answers to questions concerning her review were seen and recorded. Every question and statement she needed to see were transported to her electronically via a small tablet device placed on the table. There was nothing else in the room with Pressuriser 0223 apart from all objects mentioned. Pressuriser 0223 is also able to request ejection from the review, should she not wish it to carry on. This is a last-resort request, however, and is often taken well within the process of reviews of Suicide Room pressurisers. This is standard procedure for all employees and is, of course, for Pressuriser 0223.

Pressuriser 0223 seemed calm upon entering the Suicide Room and seating herself at the table opposite the tablet. She sat formally, placing her hands on the table, the tips of her fingers touching. Very subtly, she began to take in her surroundings. Only her eyes moved, this indicated only the twitching of her eyelids.

She had been instructed to state when she is ready for her review to begin. After she has examined her immediate surroundings visually, she straightens the cuffs of her shirt, before returning her hands to their original position. She takes a few more seconds, simply sitting still, possibly composing herself. Whatever her preparation methods, they are hidden to any camera or microphone in the room.

She raises her head slightly, and looks at the tablet, “Begin,” she says, “I’m ready.”

 

-Questioning Begins-

Your time working with the Suicide Room has been described directly, by yourself, Pressuriser 0223, as “horrific exhilaration”. Would you please elaborate on this, including specifics and referring to any case which seems appropriate?

“Horrific exhilaration”, as a phrase itself, is probably meaningless. Anything can be described as such, provided it fits the personal response. What I mean by “horrific exhilaration” is that not the exhilaration itself is horrific. I mean that the horror I experience, the horror that I see first-hand, is exhilarating. You can see pain every day, perhaps even violent death. Death is not the horrific part. It’s the fragility, the fragmentation of the human… soul… for want of a better word. I might be able to clarify by referring to a case here.

I remember Case 0008 well, probably because it was my first one. It’s been explained to me that Case 0008 was particularly… messy. Perhaps that’s why it’s so clear to me. It was a man in his late 40s, I remember that much from the dossier, and he’d recently been involved in an incident that lost him his elderly parents and his job at the same time. He came into the process already broken in spirit, which I suppose is why I, the rookie that I was, was handed this case.

By the time he wanted to accept his final decision, and therefore his suicide, looking in his eyes was like staring through a man hanging right between life and death. Like staring a dying man in the face at the exact moment his body failed. Seeing the fullness of a story, of experience behind his eyes in its moment of fading. I could see how nothing mattered to Subject 0008 anymore, and how, because of his decision, nothing would matter to him in the very near future.

This in itself is the “horrific” which I mean. Not the blood, not the gore, not the fact he killed himself. Just the complete collapse of his mental world which meant his physical had to collapse too. And I realised, right when I saw his eyes like that, that I was experiencing something on the opposite end of the spectrum. A joy, not even fleeting. It was a long and slow experience, always hovering there behind my immediate thoughts. The “exhilaration”, as it were. No adrenaline, no fear within me, just endorphins waiting patiently to rush through me.

Perhaps another reason I remember Case 0008 is that the subject bled a lot more than I had ever expected a real human to. He had decided to use a knife, though he had no idea how to cut himself so he would bleed out. Yet, I could say nothing to him. I couldn’t tell him he had to pull it up the inside of his arm, not push the blade across his wrist. We are not meant to instruct or push the subjects to suicide, only supposed to direct them towards it. We never directly say “kill yourself” or the like…

Since Case 0008, I’ve realised that “horrific exhilaration” is indeed the expression that describes every experience I’ve personally had in the Suicide Room. Sitting opposite a person who would, most likely, not live to see another tree, another lamppost, another light other than these floodlights… that’s exhilaration. That’s superiority.

Your past is, of course, of no interest to any event that is instructed of you. Though, as with every review, it is expected that employees, especially pressurisers, are not of the suicidal mindset themselves. It is also important that pressurisers have never been driven to seriously contemplate or carry out attempts of suicide. Confirmation of this is required now, as well as any doubts about the future of the Suicide Room processes or your personal future.

In previous reviews, you, Pressuriser 0223, have given these answers to this question:

– I have never seriously contemplated suicide or attempted it.
– Given how I work, and what I work doing, suicide has always been a constant in my life. Although, usually, with exposure, things become less intense, the stigma and constant reminder of suicide has not dulled my reaction to it personally. Seeing other people doing it raises thoughts of my own about it. However, I have never seriously considered suicide nor have I attempted it. Those thoughts have simply been small maybes that I have easily brushed off.

Are these answers still standing, or has your mindset on suicide altered since the last review?

I have never seriously considered suicide or attempted it. However, my view has changed. I said that, even with exposure to suicide, it has not become less intense. I still believe this. But I don’t think of suicide in the same way anymore. Where I used to take the cases in which the subjects committed suicide to heart, now I rationalise them. My amygdala is no longer involved in the processing of what I see, hear or feel while in the Suicide Room. I have realised that no case in which the subject has committed suicide directly matters to me.

Every subject is simply a number and a statistic. This is how I rationalise it. They are steps we take towards aiding the future of the human race, and I am glad I do this. On one hand, then, watching and being involved in suicides becomes an inevitable strain of the job. Or, rather, a “horrific exhilaration” of the job.

But, on the other hand, I see suicide as less of a threat. Knowing how broken one has to be in order to do it is… oddly comforting. Before I became affiliated with the Suicide Room, I was concerned over the tiniest issue I, or anyone I cared about, ever had. I was paranoid it would lead to suicide eventually. However, seeing the eyes of the subjects who have done it, and being able to record, read and remember them again… I realise that I, and those who I care about, are not broken in the slightest. Of course, no one I care about knows what my occupation is. So I would never be able to divulge to them my reasons for thinking that they are stronger than they even think they are.

It seems that personal involvement with the cases and subjects is nonexistent to you at this point in time. This is true?

Now, I hardly ever react personally to cases or subjects. I didn’t think I ever did when I started working on cases, but now I realise that I thought about every case a lot in the few days after it had ended. Now, I only live the cases at the time, and while the reports are being written and proofread. Of course, I know of them in my mind all the time. But to me, they are or little relevance – as much as remembering birthday cards. Nothing special, and they will continue in the future, but continue to be nothing special to me.

As an experienced pressuriser, you handle cases that are both suspected easy and hard. Have you any requests of cases you would not like to receive in future, or comments on how cases have been handled over your time in the process? Are there cases you want reopened for editing, improving or hiding?

I do not request any type of case to be blocked from me. I have no requests for editing any case that I have or have not worked on. I also believe that no information of any case should be hidden. Revealing to the public is not what I mean by this.

I refer to Case 0013 in particular.

You, Pressuriser 0223, worked on Case 0013 and you requested no editing of cases not five sentences ago.

Case 0013, or, I suppose now, Case B13 is [part of review lost due to corruption]

Case B13 is a sensitive case and, by request by you, is not open for editing.

The corruption of [part of review lost due to corruption]

Case 0013’s corruption was attributed to circumstances unknown. Its backup, Case B13, is sensitive. It has been revealed to the public for transparency purposes.

Case B13 isn’t [part of review lost due to corruption]

The full case, Case 0013, is lost to corruption and is therefore hidden because no scientific merit can be recovered. The circumstances were not investigated because corruption is an anomaly and it has only happened one time. There are many more cases that can be accessed that of much more use than Case 0013 was before corruption occurred. Its backup record that you, Pressuriser 0223, helped write is simply for organisational purposes.

It wasn’t [part of review lost due to corruption]

If scientific merit is lost, it is not unusual for a case to be hidden, as it is of no use. There is no point in making a corrupted case public within the process of the Suicide Room or public to the world at this stage.

Rule 5.2-B states that [part of review lost due to corruption]

No more discussion on Case 0013 will be tolerated and the review will be terminated if it is mentioned again. Please be aware of your words from this moment on.

If that is the case, I politely request that this review be over. I have answered several questions in detail, and, at this point I do not believe there is anything I can say that I have not already said.

Should you wish to carry on with requesting ejection from the review, it will be treated as an attempt to hide personal information and as refusal to aid the pursuit of knowledge that helps towards the main goal of the process. Do you still wish to request ejection?

I still wish to request ejection, and I am not the one hiding anything.

-Questioning Ends-

 

Pressuriser 0223 left soon after this, and she was noticeably irritated. Her request to be ejected was recorded. After the review, she left the grounds, despite researchers’ efforts to persuade her to continue working on writing up a case. Pressuriser 0223 has since been marked as Recalcitrant.

 

IV: Suicide Room

II: Suicide Room

I: Suicide Room

 

A series of memorable cases from the Suicide Room. All information included in these documents is shown only for the purpose of exposing the weakness of the human mind. Together, with the right technology and purpose, we can overcome these weaknesses and create barriers to stop the impulses taking over. Together, we can create superhumans, immune to persuasion, obedience and oppression. But we can only do this with subjects willing to submit themselves to the Suicide Room. Through failure we will succeed. Through death we will live. Through the weakness of others we will strengthen ourselves.

–Case File B13, Subject 0013–
–Pressuriser:
0223, Female, Experienced
–ATTENTION:
Case File 0013 for Subject 0013 became corrupted. Physical information was lost, data was removed and documented accounts became encrypted. As no one has any leads on how this occurred, all copies and traces of Case File 0013 have been destroyed. This is a back-up case, written only in brief. It is named Case File B13, about Subject 0013.
–Status: Completed – Failure – Prolonged suffering through self-inflicted pain, similar to the Chinese execution method of Lingchi.
–Case eligible for public viewing. All information contained within this document has been recorded for the purposes of scientific curiosity and for the sake of furthering the human race. All information was briefly logged from physiological, audio and visual aids, plus the memory of Pressuriser 0223. In this particular case, the memory of Pressuriser 0223 is extremely valuable.

–Open Recreated Case–

Pre-Case Notes: The B13 file has also faced problems with corruption, though most information is still salvageable. Any scientific merit has been destroyed either as a result of the corruption or our own destruction of the original files. Therefore, this case is merely kept as a record, rather than as a means of furthering knowledge of the human condition.

Subject 0013 seemed to have no reasons for applying for the Suicide Room experimental process. Given his family and personal history, there seemed to be no trigger for his desire to enter a room where he would most likely be manipulated into suicide. However, his application was successful and he was welcomed into the Suicide Room.

He was leaving behind two teenage twins, one boy and one girl, who were entering their third year of secondary school. He was also leaving behind a partner, a fiancée, whom he was to get married to in November. As for his history, medical records indicated no type of depression in the past. Researchers concluded, though, that he could be more valuable than any other subject; someone with seemingly no reason to die could surely walk out of the Suicide Room just as easily as they had walked in. Therefore, all were anxious to understand and learn from his physiological processes in either the succumbing to or the overcoming of suicidal thoughts.

Once in the Suicide Room, with Pressuriser 0223, he asked to be humiliated and belittled verbally by her. The destruction of the ego is an important part of the jump to suicide, and it was recorded that he had asked the pressuriser to perform this. It was also recorded as a possible sexual fetish, such as masochism, though EEG scans failed to find any kind of reaction to his humiliation to verify this.

Pressuriser 0223 began as she usually did. She began talking to him, building up her words from casual conversation to subtle insult, just as the subject had asked. He picked up on it straight away, and his behaviour changed. He stood up from the table and moved to one wall, out of the way of the light.

Pressuriser 0223 recalls his facial expressions during the process of humiliation. He refused to look at her, instead turning his head away. She still continued to build up her insults. Only after he had been standing at the wall for five minutes did she get up and move towards him. She recalls how she eventually stood right in front of him, sneering offence into his face, and his expression was one of pain and concentration as he looked to the side. She made every effort to get in front of him, to stare him down to add force to her insults, but he never held her gaze for more than a second.

After thirty-five minutes of insults, Subject 0013 moved away from the pressuriser, pushing past her and retreating to the corner of the room where he crouched, staring into the corner. Pressuriser 0223 recalls how his body shook despite his defensive position. She says she has never seen such a controlled, but chaotic reaction from a subject.

Pressuriser 0223 returned to her seat at the wooden table, becoming silent. Then she set about using another tactic. It is rather juvenile, but often succeeds in either irritating and therefore panicking the subjects, or even establishing a balance of power. She began to tap one finger on the tabletop to the beat of a second, all the while staring at the subject. She continued to do this until she got a reaction.

Subject 0013 stood and turned, revealing to the camera the marks he had inflicted on himself. Clumsy chicken-scratchings covered his arms, and skin was embedded under his nails. His expression was one of hatred, directed at the pressuriser. Of course, she remained unfazed and looked at him as he looked at her. He asked for his final wish. His final decision.

His chosen method of suicide on his file was marked as unknown. This meant that the room had not been prepared for his decision. There was nothing in the room apart from the table and the chairs. However, it is not uncommon for subjects to want to change their methods. In this case, they get to use their ‘final wish’, just as 0013 did, to choose his method.

He asked for a sharp knife, though would not provide the pressuriser with his actual plan. This was relayed to the researchers who provided the knife quickly, not wanting to break the spell of the room.

Pressuriser 0223 recalls the next part, Subject 0013’s suicide, graphically. Most information from other sources, such as heart-rate, blood pressure and EEG results were corrupted after the process, most of them at the point of his decision. Therefore, only Pressuriser 0223’s memory, as well as the log from the uncorrupted video of the cameras, will be used to recreate the scene.

He returned to his seat, opposite Pressuriser 0223, who, by her own admission, stopped tapping and began to insult him again. Her offending comments were moderate, and could easily be brushed off by someone in the right mind. However, Pressuriser 0223 is experienced and knows when a subject is not, and never will be, in the right mind. She does not resort to tactics she does not have to use; “never play an ace when a two will do.”

Subject 0013 placed the blade of the knife to his arm and began to inflict several shallow cuts. With each, he barely flinched. Pressuriser 0223 theorises the first ones were a test. She recalls she expected him to next draw the point of the knife up the inside his arm, severing arteries and causing death through blood loss. She was ultimately wrong.

She recalls him never meeting her eye, never acknowledging her presence in front of him. Instead, his attention remained on his arm. With the knife in his left hand, he began to slice deeper into his flesh. He levered the knife under the living flesh, pulling it and slicing it away from his own body, the whole time attempting not to scream. He failed this very soon and, for the next twenty minutes, Pressuriser 0223 was within an echo-chamber of noise. The flesh he had severed was not a huge chunk, but the wound in his upper arm was seeping blood, flowing down to his elbow and onto the arm of the chair, before it overflowed onto the floor. Subject 0013 stabbed his nails into his thigh, the muscle of the right arm beating and pulsing blood from its severed self.

The pain was not over though. With cries and curses, Subject 0013 removed his trousers,and turned the knife on his calf. Pressuriser 0223 had since returned to sitting silently. She watched his every move, eyes cold. Her morbid curiosity was unquenchable at this point.

The wound the subject inflicted on his leg stained almost his entire foot red. He pushed the knife in, though, in the process, his hand slipped on the handle, slippery with his own blood and he stumbled, opening up the side of his leg too. The wound was bigger than he had intended, and suddenly his voice was all the pressuriser could hear. “Red, raw, animalistic, music born through pain.”

Pressuriser 0223 moved around to the side of the table to keep an eye on the subject, who was holding his leg. She leaned against the table to see him scattering blood as he reached again for the knife. In her eyes, he was inflicting pain on himself to save himself from the pain he was experiencing. This is a common reason for self-inflicted wounds anyway, though usually they are to counteract emotional pain. If Subject 0013 was following that idea, his emotional pain, the pressuriser says, must have been “nothing less than horrific”.

He made his final attempt to bleed. He pushed against his side, just below the ribs, though the blade did not get in deep. He had no strength to get it in deeper. Blood loss had sapped his strength, and the adrenaline from the first few cuts had run out. He lay gasping, saying no words, offering no pleads or cries of regret. His leg, stained and glistening, lay contorted behind him. From his side, the knife lay still, dark liquid and loosened gristle around it. The subject’s hands, clenched, eventually slackened. His pale skin, almost grey with stress, seemed crinkled. His lips were dry and breath came slowly.

Pressuriser 0223 stood still. She watched him. She says her own senses were heightened by the prospect of his death. The colours and sounds she experienced as he died are still clear to her. She remembers how, with his last breath, his chest fell and his shoulders slackened. His eyelids twitched but did not shut. Some of his eyelashes were joined with sweat.

Usually the researchers are called in after ten minutes after the subject’s supposed death. This time, though, Pressuriser 0223 requested an extra ten minutes. During that twenty minutes of silence in that room, all she did was move her chair so she could sit facing him, her elbows on her knees. She did not move much through that time, just sat and watched his corpse.

The researchers entered after the twenty minutes was over and were hasty in declaring him dead. Pressuriser 0223 left the room after rearranging the chairs, and the researchers were left with the corpse. Pressuriser 0223 reported the whole process “surreal”.

 

–End Results: Subject 0013 failed in our expectations of him to leave the Suicide Room alive. His threshold was surprisingly low, needing only Pressuriser 0223’s insults to drive him to make his final decision. His Suicide Room process will only serve as records, though it has remained a case permanently cemented in Pressuriser 0223’s memory.

 

III: Suicide Room

I: Suicide Room

A series of memorable cases from the Suicide Room. All information included in these documents is shown only for the purpose of exposing the weakness of the human mind. Together, with the right technology and purpose, we can overcome these weaknesses and create barriers to stop the impulses taking over. Together, we can create superhumans, immune to persuasion, obedience and oppression. But we can only do this with subjects willing to submit themselves to the Suicide Room. Through failure we will succeed. Through death we will live. Through the weakness of others we will strengthen ourselves.

 

–Case File 0045, Subject 0045–
–Pressuriser: 0223, Female, Experienced
–Status: Completed – Failure – Moderately soon suicide through drug-based methods
–Case eligible for public viewing. All information contained within this document has been recorded for the purposes of scientific curiosity and for the sake of furthering the human race. All information was logged from physiological, audio and visual aids, plus the memory of Pressuriser 0223.

–Open Case–

Subject 0045 seemed nervous even before he stepped into the Suicide Room. The cameras caught him shaking, his knees jiggling up and down as his adrenaline levels peaked and ebbed. Subject 0045 was initially not a strong subject, so Pressuriser 0223 was assigned to gauge just how much strain could be put on a relatively weak mind like Subject 0045. This case was logged very carefully, and multiple cameras and recording devices were used throughout the procedure. All three cameras in the stark white waiting lobby captured Subject 0045’s behaviour.

Every few seconds, his head would swiftly glance towards the door to the Suicide Room. It has been recorded how much an ordinary door strikes fear into subjects. His panic seemingly arose from the fear of his future. For ten further, agonising minutes, Subject 0045 sat there, his hands tightly wrapped around each other, his eyes wide and slick. The underarms of his loose-fitting gown became dark with sweat, though he seemed to be unaware.

Aware of every sound, his head rose quickly upon hearing the footsteps of the researchers. Two of them, both wearing dark glasses to avoid unnecessary eye contact with the subject, began to fit him with various implements to monitor his body’s physiological reactions to various psychological stimuli he would be facing once inside the room. Heart-rate monitors were attached to his chest, his neck and his wrists, while a blood pressure monitor was attached to his upper left arm. Electrodes were secured to his temples, and beside his eyes, so as to monitor frontal lobe activity, and eye twitches. Other information was to be logged visually and audibly, such as noticeable bodily habits or verbal patterns borne out of anxiety.

Subject 0045 was briefly informed of the purpose of the Suicide Room one more time, and he gave his final permissions, his voice clearly shaking. The researchers, having secured his consent, steered him to the door. They stood behind him as he steeled himself for entering. Finally, he pushed open the door.

Pressuriser 0223 was already seated behind a simple wooden table. She watched Subject 0045 as he approached and took his seat on a hard wooden chair. Light sources pointed towards him, casting Pressuriser 0223’s visage into darkness. His expressions, clearly lit by the bright lights, will be unmissable.

Pressuriser 0223 introduces herself, spreading her hands, inviting the subject to offer the same information. He did so, hesitantly, gulping every few words. After introductions, the pressuriser begins to engage him in casual conversation. This was done to find out if his panic could be easily overcome by the introduction of a comfortable, everyday conversation. However, EEG results, in addition to the subject’s verbal answers to Pressuriser 0223’s questions, indicated that his amygdala was completely engaged, and that the subject’s emotions were too extreme to be calmed.

Pressuriser 0223 decided to begin the process of manipulation soon. The casual conversation lasted a mere few minutes before she cut off Subject 0045 in the middle of his sentence. She sat back in her chair, her eyes on him. By the way the shadows lay, it was difficult to make out her expression. His, though, was easy to read. He was waiting and anxious for the pressuriser to begin.

From his file and research into his life history, the pressuriser gained the knowledge that Subject 0045 had recently suffered a loss. His wife of twelve years had left him only months after the death of their four-year-old child who succumbed to measles. This is not an unusual situation found within the records of Suicide Room subjects, as deaths in families often drive people to depression or suicidal thoughts. Pressuriser 0223 had this information, and more to use, though she started off her processes slowly and carefully.

 

–Transcript–

This transcript captures the events leading up to, but prior to, Subject 0045’s decision. Throughout he was aware of the consequences of agreeing to be a part of the Suicide Room research, and, although withdrawal was impossible at this point, his permission and consent were given multiple times through the debriefing sessions.

[…]
0223 – Within this room, there are only two voices. Yours. And mine. You are aware of the aims of the Suicide Room and have consented willingly. Your final decision can be made at any time, and any wishes directly regarding it will be followed through. You have stated your preferred method of suicide is by ingesting quantities of paracetamol over a period of time. This has been already provided and is in this room with us. You will find it below the table, available for your use whenever, and if ever, you decide to use it. However, if a different method is favoured, it can be arranged. This information has all been provided to us willingly by you and is all correct.

0045 – Yes. Yes it is. Though I…

0223 – Do you remember your childhood? Do you remember any particularly happy memories?

0045 – I. I remember… I remember how I learned to ride my bike when I was six. My dad had a holiday from work and he… he spent the time taking me up to the park with my bike. I…
[Subject 0045 pauses for a while]
I remember falling off. But my dad was there to take me home and he carried me. I… I remember I skinned my knee… and I wasn’t happy but… I wasn’t happy because it hurt but I was happy because the time was special.

0223 – Teaching your child to ride a bicycle is often an important time in the life of a father too. When their toddler begins to find their calling, to set their sights on their life and their future. Because riding a bike allows them freedom.

0045 – Yeah I…
[Subject 0045 does not begin speaking again]

0223 – Your child, a son?

0045 – … Yeah… He…
[Subject 0045 does not begin speaking again]

0223 –  What was his name?

0045 – It… was O**r. After my wife’s dad.

0223 – I see. A father. Such an important part of any child’s life. He must have influenced your wife quite a bit. Did O**r ever get to meet his granddad?

0045 – No… They lived too far away. We couldn’t afford to take the time off to take O**r up to see them.

0223 – That is a shame. I suppose, if O**r was only four years old when he got measles, he didn’t get to experience the same happiness from you teaching him to ride his bike?
[Subject 0045 does not respond]
I suppose he never had a bike in the first place. It was such an important memory to you, it must hurt that O**r will never get to experience it. Though he has been saved from the pain of skinning his knee, just as you did. And his father pulling the bike behind him as he carried O**r home. Are you… sure the memory of you learning to ride a bike is happy?

[Subject 0045 has begun to sob violently. His heart rate is high, and his brain activity shows huge emotional activity in the hippocampus and amygdala]

0223 – How did O**r get measles? There are vaccines.

[It takes a few minutes for Subject 0045 to calm down enough to respond]
0045 – 
He was supposed to get vaccinated. But I couldn’t take him on the day it was scheduled because… I couldn’t take any more time off work. It… it was either… provide for my family or be… sacked and have O**r vaccinated. I… I thought it was going to be okay. We never… rescheduled.

0223 – You gave up your child’s life just for something to get up to do every morning?

0045 – It wasn’t…
[Subject 0045 becomes unable to respond for minutes due to excessive emotional expression]
It was… It wasn’t my…

0223 – Fault? No, no…

0045 – My wife… always blamed me until she left.

0223 – And… rightfully so. What I mean is, your decision cost the life of your child. And not just your child, but your wife’s child. She, who carried O**r within her body for nine months, of course she blames you. There is no way to convince anybody that your decision didn’t cause this. Though, perhaps she is happy now.

[Subject 0045 begins to react again, but before long he straightens himself up slightly in the chair. His eyes are red, his posture is stiff and his expression is one of helplessness. He slumps back in his chair, defeated and loose]

[Pressuriser 0223 stares at Subject 0045 for a few minutes. His heart rate is lowering but his amygdala is still peaking]

0223 – Time passes. Time we’ll never get back. Some people grow up, some people grow old. No one and nothing stays young. But the dead never age. O**r will remain four forever. Bone doesn’t grow, not when it’s dead.

[Subject 0045 makes eye contact with the pressuriser but does not respond]

0223 – I think it’s time for you to make your final decision.

[Subject 0045 does not move for a few minutes]

0045 – Yeah.

Transcript Ends

 

Subject 0045 reached below the table, his body shaking but his hands calm and ready. His demeanour was one of someone who was facing something they neither wanted nor dreaded. It was simply a look of acceptance. Pressuriser 0223 asked the subject if he was sure. Subject 0045 ignored her, and set about preparing the paracetamol. Within the pack was indeed paracetamol but also a bottle of mineral water.

Subject 0045, over a period of half an hour, slowly ingested double the amount of paracetamol needed to easily kill a person. All the while, Pressuriser 0223 watched on, saying nothing, but giving the subject time to carry out his final decision. With each few tablet, he choked back a sob, before swallowing them. His expression returned to one of placid indifference after every mouthful as he slowly waited for the tablets to soak into his body and take effect.

Subject 0045 lost consciousness. Pressuriser 0223 remained in the room with the subject for fifteen minutes, before calling in the researchers. On arrival, they pronounced Subject 0045 dead. The EEG scans indicated he had died almost as soon as he had lost consciousness. No brain activity was detected in those fifteen minutes.

 

–End results: Subject 0045 failed in beating emotional pain and manipulation. The results gained from his visit to the Suicide Room will, however, not be useless. Pressuriser 0223 reports that Subject 0045 was one of the quickest and easiest subjects she has ever interacted with.

 

II: Suicide Room

I: Mistake [Working Title]

I really feel I reached my peak with Hello so this is more of an attempt to claw back something I really loved, because he disappeared from every aspect of my creative mind when Hello ended and I feel depressed when I think of him.

I have no idea if this story will continue, but it may do if people like it. I really need to find something I’m as passionate about as Hello, but it’s been months and I doubt I ever will.

 

Mistake page 1